I can't do this without you
by blueeyedjaclover
Summary: Mac is getting married and Jo is in her office listening to a song and feeling sad because she wanted him to be hers. Sorry I suck at summary's but if you like Jac just give it a try. Based on the song 'The Scientist' of Coldplay


Just a simple short story about Jo listening to a song on the radio, and thinking about Mac. Made when I was bored and depressed after seeing C…..e on the TV too much! Please comment.

I DON'T OWN ANYTHING,

CSI:NY belongs to the CBS and

The Scientist belongs to Coldplay

**I can't do this without you**

'_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry'_

My head popped up the moment I heard the first tones of the song. They made me realize it. I should be at home, dressing me up, taking my gift which I wrapped last night. It's all laying perfectly ready. Ellie would go to my mom, I'd be home around 3 a.m tomorrow and have a huge headache from the champagne. It was all planned. I'd be happy, kiss them and wish them luck. But still I'm sitting here while the wedding is going to start in a little hour. If I go now, I'd make it. But I'm still not moving. In fact, I'm sitting on my desk, making up excuses why I 'couldn't make it'.

'_You don't know how lovely you are'_

No, I guess you don't. Maybe you're thinking you might have something sweet, because she's telling you how perfect you are, over and over again. But you know, she'll never be able to tell you the whole truth, because she doesn't know it. Maybe I don't know nether. But from the moment I saw you, I knew we could make a great couple. Of course, I didn't want to feel so. I pushed it away, thinking I'll tell you once.

'_I had to find you, tell you I need you'_

Till this morning I've felt that way. But now it's too late, I need you and it's too late to tell you. I know I'm acting stupid, I should take myself together and punish myself for having so much self-pity. But the only thing I wanna do is lay my head in my hands and cry.

'_Tell you I set you apart'_

You were always so special. Like a good friend that you better not fall in love with, or everything would be ruined. I set you apart, in a little box in my heart. Maybe I should take you out of it, put you with all my other friends.

Tears were in my eyes when the song went on.

_'Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_Oh, take me back to the start'_

No one told me I would cry on the happiest day of your life. I'm standing up and walk over to the bridge. How many times have I watched you from there. More than you could think of, I guess. I wanted to be yours, but I was afraid. No one told me it would be so hard to forget you. To let you go. I would do anything to just start over. I'd do everything over again, in a better way. I'd tell you I love you.

_'I was just guessing at numbers and figures_

_Pulling the puzzles apart_

_Questions of science, science and progress_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart_ '

All I could think of the last months was my job, trying harder and harder to put away my feelings for you, now you had a new lover. I was so blind that I couldn't see the other men around me. But I didn't want them. I wanted you. Simple as science. Just a question you can find an answer on. Only this one can't be answered.

'_But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me_

_Oh and I rush to the start_

_Running in circles, chasing our tails_

_Coming back as we are'_

I know we'll meet again. In another life. I'm walking back to my office and grab a post it note. A green one. Because you said you liked them best. I take a pen. Slowly, carefully not to cry, I write two words on it. _I'm sorry. _Thinking of a long line to open my feelings about you to write beneath it, writes my hand, like it doesn't listen to my body, _Jo. _Looking at the result, tears are rolling over my cheeks. I rapidly dry them and walk to your office. I put it on your door, hoping you'll find it tomorrow. I walk out of the office. My new job will start next week. Back to the FBI. I know it's good, but I'm going to miss New York. I'm going to miss you. Without looking back I walk to my car. Never to return again.

'_Nobody said it was easy_

_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be so hard_

_I'm going back to the start'_

Hey guys (and girls),

I know, a bit of a depressing story, but I think this is what's going to happen when they keep this stupid C….e character in the story and having Mac still being in love with her. Please, CBS, get her out, help Jo! She needs Mac and he needs her. Please comment if you feel the same way.


End file.
